2014 Arizona Mother with Special Needs Children

Tessy Hoffman is the strongest woman you will ever know--anyway, that’s what her husband, Rodney says.  He’s not referring to physical strength, but emotional and spiritual strength.  Tessy needs that kind of strength plus the physical strength to deal with family life as she knows it, where everyone but she is in a wheelchair.

Rodney Hoffman has cerebral palsy, which didn't limit his activities until he had a head injury at age 19 that caused paralysis on his right side.  Rodney and Tessy first met at a dance.  Rodney served a mission for the LDS Church.  Tessy also served a mission and learned sign language on her mission, where she worked with the deaf in Colorado and Salt Lake City, Utah.  When she returned home, she and Rodney renewed their contact and were later married. 

Tessy and Rodney started their family and both of their children have cerebral palsy.  They are unable to walk or talk, and are fed through a feeding tube.  They are both far sighted and wear glasses.

 

Doris just celebrated her 22^nd birthday and Arthur is 19.  Tessy communicates with Doris through her eyes.  When given choices to make, Doris will look at the shirt she wants to wear or item she wants to buy at the store.  When she's unhappy she cries or gives dirty looks;  yes, Tessy says that Doris can give you a really dirty look to express her displeasure!  Doris is at an emotional age of 4 or 5 and an intellectual age of 6 or 7.  Arthur is at an even lower age.

Tessy has respite help.  Every week day morning she has an attendant care provider come help get Doris and Arthur ready for school. But she hasn’t had that kind of help all the time.  Tessy has lifted, dressed, bathed, and changed diapers day after day for 22 years through her children’s lives as they have grown and developed through childhood, teenage and now young adult age.  She has lifted them into wheel chairs and driven them to countless doctor’s appointments, hospital visits and nursed them through many illnesses. She has fed them through tubes and struggled with eating issues.   And she has loved them, like all mothers, through every moment of their lives.

How does Tessy deal with discouragement?  She sleeps, reads books, goes shopping or buys groceries. One of her favorite stores is home depot!  She says she likes to look at all the tools.  Tessy used to be a big collector of coupons and loved to file them and see where she could use them.  She said she did it for the fun of the hunt.  Tessy loves reading science fiction, mysteries and true life biographies.  She knits beautiful blankets on looms, and is a master of origami.

Tessy’s advice to other families who are raising disabled children is to cherish the free time you have when your children are in respite care.  She also advises to not be afraid to ask for help from neighbors and family.

Rodney says in addition to Tessy being the strongest woman he knows, she also knows how to roll with the punches that life gives her and is able to function through all the trials that have come her way. 

Yes, Tessy Hoffman is one strong Momma!


********* This post was also featured in the National American Mother's Blog